10 steps to gain self-confidence

You have all the rights to make your dreams come true, but one huge obstacle can be not giving yourself the chance because of the lack of self-confidence.

Believing you can be successful, brave, strong, and beautiful, must be a wonderful feeling for those that can accomplish it, but experiencing low self-esteem at one aspect or another in life can be as serious as changing your destiny to one you don’t deserve.

When you feel the absent of self-confidence others can see your vulnerability and could try to take advantage of that. When you show your weaknesses you are allowing others to feel superior when in reality the only thing they have is your permission to feel pity for you.

It can happen to any of us, to lose our self-confidence in certain aspects of our lives. That’s why we should take the time to identify what is keeping us from reaching are goals. As I’m writing this I’m learning a thing or two myself, researching and reading others experiences can really open your eyes sometimes and realize the big difference we can make in our life by just seeing the good in us. After all it is our life, and we should be in control of it.


How to gain self-confidence


Note: These 10 Steps that can help you gain the confidence you need, are presented in no specific order. After you read them, make the plan you think it’s best and convenient for you. If you would like to share your thoughts, please do so by leaving a comment in the comment section below.


Recognize and accept

Are there things that you think you should have accomplished already in life? Do you find yourself avoiding situations and people? Are you constantly waiting for your time to do things? Recognizing and analyzing why we answer “YES” to questions like these is the first step. Once we know that our lack of self-confidence is keeping us from leaving the life we want for us, we are accepting that there is a problem we need to solve.


Write down your insecurities

Think about all the aspects in your life that are at the moment somehow compromised because of your low self-esteem. Then from each aspect take notes of every point that make you feel insecure, inferior, etc., (e.g., if your social life is compromised, ask yourself why? Is it because of your looks, because of your education? And so on.).


 Make the commitment

Addressing each and every one of your insecurities would be the next step and the one that will make the difference in your life. Make the commitment to stay focus on achieving results towards being a new, self-confident YOU. Work on one thing at a time to make it easier on yourself, and to make sure you can either change your attitude about it or overcome the fear of being yourself.


Look for help

When you make the commitment to change for a positive, self-confident you, it may not be easy along the way. In this case don’t be afraid to seek support from people. It’s even better when you talk about it with somebody else, like a friend. This way you can have others opinion and perhaps you will realize that never was there a problem. But if it is still bothering you, they can help you find the way or the courage to accomplish your goal.


Reunite with the artist in you

If there was an activity you loved to do as a kid and you mistakenly abandoned it, let’s say you enjoyed doing some sport, painting, playing an instrument, dancing, acting, singing, you should bring that talent back to life. I’m sure you were smiling if I just mentioned something that brought good memories to you, it’s important to reconnect with all that makes you happy and, if you noticed, also confident. You will find yourself doing something you love, perhaps relearning it or practicing among other people with the same talent and passion. Great way to feel good about yourself, don’t you think?


Be grateful

Having a low self-esteem can make you see the negative side of everything. One thing important is to be grateful for all that you already have. You may say that what you have is not what you always wanted, but you need to keep in mind that maybe the things you have are the same things others are fighting for right now, just like you are.


Always remember what is good about you

This is the time to live modesty aside for a moment. Appreciate how good you are at things, how kind you are with people, all the good things you can do and you did for others; if necessary write everything down and read it aloud as many times as you need. Remind yourself why you deserve to have the things you want.


Don’t hide your achievements

People show their self-confidence by having no fear to talk about their achievements. And if you pay a little more attention you’re going to notice that they not only do it quite often but also they talk about the most little thing they think is good about them. You might sometimes even see that you also have that special quality in common, but unlike them, you chose to “hide” it. As such from now on, if someone compliments you, say “Thank you!” and smile!


Feel the moment of glory

Every little step you make in a positive way, every little or big success, every time you think you made progress take the time to feel the glory. Don’t let it pass unnoticed by you, identify how capable you are and thank yourself for wanting and working to be better. Smile wide, buy yourself a candy, have for dinner your favorite meal, anything that could remark your accomplishment will do. The moments of victory are going to charge you with good and positive energy, and that’s all you need to feel good about yourself.


 Act as if…

Alright, we know it takes time to find that inner lion you have, all courageous and brave and beautiful, but you know soon you will find it. So why not act as if you have already won a self-confident medal? 😉

Presenting yourself to others as a new YOU, acting like you are the type of person who has a positive attitude in life, the one who’s happy when looks in a mirror, the one who enjoys the day when goes out, etc., all this can help to replace your thoughts with positive ones, to charge you with good energy, and to not waste any minute without feeling the changes in your life.


Image Source Flickr user Brett Weinstein