How can we be happy when we think that we need to be loved by someone to feel complete? When you think about it it doesn’t make any sense. Of course, it is gratifying to feel the love of others, but why do we need it to feel complete? If you give it some thought for a minute you will realize that all you need is YOU!
You hear it everywhere from almost everybody (including me, of course!): “First you need to love yourself to receive the love of someone else.” Then why do we have to look for “our other half” to feel complete when in reality we need to learn to love ourselves just the way we are to find it in the first place? I believe it is impossible for you not to come to same conclusion now, no?
There is another particular question you should ask yourself in this matter: What loneliness really means to you? The company of a friend, for example, may come and go. If this person happens to be special you know that although he/she is not present all the time in your life, will be there for you whenever you need him/her. In this case it’s more likely that you won’t experience the sadness from loneliness, but you’ll keep trying to find that one person that will stay with you “forever”. And here is where I think the confusion about feeling “incomplete” lies.
It is important to look inside your heart and sincerely ask yourself what is keeping you from being yourself, from feeling whole. Maybe you still feel that there is something missing in your life that it is not precisely a person but perhaps a thing you want to accomplish before certain age, or it could be the thought of not being enough for someone — which is very common to think that way when we are interested in a special person because we tend to diminish ourselves based on all the things we like about the other –, and there is also, of course, fear. The fear to have what you really want and be happy, and not just settle for something or someone when you know you deserve better.
All these feelings inside of you will not go away just because you have someone with you. A good person can really turn your life around but only once you realize that all that person needs is YOU, with all your virtues and defects.
It is the greatest feeling when someone tells you that they need you because they love you, and we feel happy when we say it back to our loved ones; that should be the only reason why we call them “our other half”. But let’s not forget at the end of any relationship that no one can leave us feeling incomplete. We are always going to need our whole selves AND our loneliness to find the strength to keep on going.
Image courtesy of Simply June