It seems to come very natural for people to start comparing their lives to the lives of others when in the middle of a personal crisis, problem, or when feeling pain or shame.
In a state of self-loathing it is easy to let yourself go in the fantasy that certain people have it easier than you. Simply because you shelter the feelings that are known to you and perhaps changing them it’s so much harder. Then you either start looking at celebrities on TV, the riches on the news, or the successful people in suits imagining their lives go on smoothly, because it is obvious to you that they don’t have the problems you do, and even if they do, they can solve them with the swipe of a credit card, right?
This happens when you feel that there is something missing in your life. Simply your own shame or flaws make you compare to others and always want to have what others have or be the person you think they are while you are still stuck in just dreams.
Idealizing people’s lives can stop you from moving forward to be who you really want to be. You are more likely to hide in a fake world where you only feel sorry for yourself but somehow it makes you feel comfortable because the excuses keep you “safe”. Oops! Harsh, I know.
Yet, you might have said more than once “everybody has problems!”, Am I wrong? That’s because you somehow understand that people deal with their own struggles according to their own life. If you were willing to pay a little more attention you would see the reality in everybody’s inner and outer lives.
This is not just about recognizing everyone has problems or frustrations like you do to feel better, but about being able to accept who you are and the things you have. The way you present to others will bring you up to the surface only if you concentrate more in yourself, or instead it will drown you in unrealistic beliefs that not only can hurt you but also can change the way they treat you. Furthermore it could isolate you, keeping you from having good relationships with the people who could really help you during difficult times. This could also open the doors to more negative thoughts and actions in your life.
People’s experiences are continuously going to be positive and negative, it’s what you see and how you see it that will make it less or more painful for you. Watching and learning from the positive side of things will increase your confidence and will let the rest of the world know that you are genuine and strong. You will feel that you belong simply because you are unique, and there is no need for comparison with anyone.